Everything from swearing, smoking, and sexting happen at High Schools all over the world. It is something that teens feel they have to be a part of, to fit into such a violent, judgmental, and gruesome place. Most kid’s number one problem in High School is that they are too lazy, too social, or too dependent. Students who struggle in High School never want to admit that they need help, and before they know it, they get smacked across the face with something known as reality; that big, scary, unfamiliar place of life itself. When will students grow up and put school before their phone or laptop. When will students learn that school comes first? In this paragraph I used three familiar types of rhetorical devices to shape and develop my paragraph. I related this piece directly from my editorial, to learning outcome three by using alliteration to make my ideas flow together. The easier ideas are put together, the better my content is understood by my readers. I also used sensory detail with words such as gruesome and violent to give my audience a visual of what I was referring too. This also gives the readers the mood of mental imaging of the setting or objects portrayed in a descriptive way. I also used rhetorical questions to keep my reader thinking and on the edge of their seat to learn and investigate more, even after the story ended. By putting questions that your audience cannot answer at the end of your piece, it leaves them with a continuous thought and curiosity which evolves to them making their own ending to your story.
I really like how you used a variety of rhetorical devices in your writing, it makes the piece much more interesting and enjoyable to read. The way you used sensory detail to show not tell when you wrote, "to fit into such a violent, judgmental, and gruesome place" gave me a better understanding of what you were talking about. I also liked the way your piece opened because you used an alliteration which really drew me in as a reader. The rhetorical question at the end was a really good way to get me to think about the points you made during your piece, I might even try using some rhetorical questions in my own writing from now on.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job at using rhetorical devices in your writing. From the first sentence to the last. You caught the attention of the reader in your first sentence when you said,"Everything from swearing, smoking, and sexting happen at High Schools all over the world." This also tells me or gives me a hint on what the writing is going to be about going into it. At the end of the writing you said, "When will students grow up and put school before their phone or laptop? When will students learn that school comes first?" These are rhetorical questions that are unanswered, that leave the reader thinking about the writing. This is a good technique to use in your writing.
ReplyDeleteAshley, I really like that you used a good variety of techniques and/or rhetorical devices in your paragraph. I also really like the fact that your topic is something to you can actually relate to and really know something about. “To fit into such a violent, judgmental, and gruesome place” is an interesting way to describe high school. The diction in that quote really lets the reader know that high school is a cruel and unwelcoming place. Saying “they get smacked across the face with something known as reality” is an amazing use of personification relating back to high schools’ dramatic events. Using the rhetorical question “When will students learn that school comes first?” really helps the audience think about your main points; therefore, I agree that ending your writing with questions that your audience cannot answer leaves them with a continuous thought.
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